like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
