it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
