so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
