You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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