Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
