Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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