My nipple is on Facebook.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
