after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
