Me too!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
