And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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