I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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