"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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