I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
