Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
