Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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