Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
