I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
