OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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