As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
