Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
