he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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