Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
