Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
