I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize