I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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