he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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