Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
