I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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