Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
