Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
