the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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