Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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