I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
