I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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