You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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