well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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