Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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