Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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