She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
