You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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