my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
