Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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