tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
where does the pee come out of this thing
operation have a gay friend backfired
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
