Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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