u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
