Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dear god my vagina.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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