What did we do last night that was yellow?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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