this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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