Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
