You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
