found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
