It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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