oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
