just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize