jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
