Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
