Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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