have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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