if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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