it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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